Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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