My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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