How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
