If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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