My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
