the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
