Sry I called you an 8
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
