i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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