Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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