You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize