In America we eat man semen.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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