grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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