Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't deserve a penis
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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