I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
