is wine microwaveable?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
