had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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