It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
