Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
