You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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