There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
