I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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