so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
