you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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