My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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