That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
