Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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