im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
