There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
