i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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