it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
