Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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