sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
