somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
