Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
