Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize