it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
