she was so not down for the gang bang
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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