Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
