Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
