Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
