He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
