We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
