i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
