i don't like sucking hair
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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