This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
