Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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