too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
