I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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