Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize