I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
my liver is dry heaving
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
