When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
