Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
