Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
