plz talk dirty to me
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
