Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize