I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
