I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
