Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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