You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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