It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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