I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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