her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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