You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
