you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
