How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
