Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
