I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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