I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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