what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
