He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
