K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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