Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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