by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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