first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
